Well, Im not sure I feel 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant as I dont have any dramatic symptoms. Still you read about lots of ladies who dont. I can choose how I respond to those lack of symptoms - I can either let it feed my fears or I can see myself as one of the lucky ones.
Ive spent a long time trying to develop spiritually but when I come to a moment like this I realise how far I still have to go. The principles that I can use when emotion is not present quickly disappear when you feel strongly. I must be more concious and work harder. Its fear I struggle with most, especially around becoming a mother.
Positively, right now Im pregnant. There is one or two babies growing and developing within me. I am bloated, a clear sign that something is different and that bloat affects my appitite, my bra size and the way I fit into my trousers. I chose to be a mother and my pregnancy tests tell me that its happening.
I keep telling people. At school a lady whose partner is also having ivf asked me how it was going. Im not good at lying anyway but started by saying I was still trying and ended up say I had a positive test. Her partner is having an ET on Sunday, tomorrow.
I believe that now is my time. Thats the truth but fear and past experience erode that sense until Im just left with desparation.
Symptoms = bloated stomach - resulting in lack of appetite, increased bra size, ill fitting clothes and I definately have started to have to leave lessons to go to the loo (at least twice a day at school) when normally I might only go once or go at the end of the day. Tingling nipples (mild but it happened last night)
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