How beautiful it was to be putting my Christmas decorations up this year while the little man slept peacefully in his cot. It was a very emotional experience.
I love Christmas but it is also a time when I have felt most strongly the hurt and frustration of not having a baby. I can say this here, but hanging the baby Jesus decoration was always accompanied by a prayer.
This year I was half way through hanging them when I suddenly realised that I didnt have to have those feelings anymore. He is here and he is beautiful and I love him. I did shed a little tear for the baby that never was as it woud have been his/her first Christmas too.
Our first Christmas.
