Saturday 28 May 2011

20 weeks pregnant - scan and doppler scan

I had my 20 week scan yesterday.  It wasnt the best scan experience as the patient screen was broken so I could only catch glimpses by doing crunches.  I thought it was more important that she measured accurately so I didnt press to see.

The doppler scan showed a notch on one side of the umbilical cord.  This of course corresponds with my low papp-a score at the 12 week scan.  Apparently those with low hcg as well have an even higher risk of low birth weight, fetal death, premature babies.  It never stops does it... the worry, the problems.  Of course I expected this was the case but now it feels very frightening.  I will ring the midwife on Tuesday (its bank holiday here on Monday) and see if I can move my appointment forward.  I want someone to explain the results.  The paperwork puts me in the lowest percentile for growth for the biparietal diameter (this is the lowest), the head circumference and the femur length.  Only the abdominal circumference is just above the average line.  The sonographer didnt say this was small but it seems apparent to me.  I found a site where I could enter these figures and it showed that I am on average 19weeks, a week behind where I should be. 

The sonographer found no soft markers for downs so we are good to our word and will not have an invasive test.  She said only 50% of babies with down syndrome show any markers and our odds are unchanged. 

In my heart i have always felt that the baby wouldnt have ds but would would be born early and small. 

Hang in there my lovely and take all that you can take from me.

It hasnt helped that I have a craving for licorice and looked it up to find that it should be avoided in pregnancy.  That it leads to premature birth and low birth weight!!!!  I have of course stopped taking it but I just hope I havent done any damage. 

We were told again that it was a girl - yes!  And we have another scan in 4 weeks.  Do I stop worryng till then?

The baby wasnt very active at the scan which has worried me more.  My tummy still hasnt drawn any attention at work (although I am wearing drapping clothes).

Oh, this is a bumpy ride.

Symptoms = indigestion, growing bbs, sore nipples, stetched stomach, wind

Tuesday 17 May 2011

18 weeks 4 days pregnant - sickness and nose bleed

There is only 10 days to my 20 week scan and Im half way through my pregnancy.  Isnt that amazing.

What isnt amazing is how I feel.  Im off sick today.  I went to bed early with a headache and was woken when DH came back in about nine.  I was very disorientated.  At some point after that I woke up again and my head was much worse.  I called DH for a paracetamol and thats when I started vomitting.  Vomitting then dry heaving, my nose began bleeding and I had to hold onto the bed because my head was spinning.  It seemed to go on forever.  I was crying and spluttering and covered in liquid (tears, snot, blood, bile) everything that could produce liquid on my head was doing so simultaneously.

I hate to say this, especially as I have worked so hard to get here, but I do not enjoy being pregnant.  I feel guilty for saying or even thinking this but most days I feel unwell.  Be it the foul taste in my mouth after I eat anything, feeling dizzy in the playground at the end of the day (wondering if I will stay on my feet), the headaches, the sickness or the stomach discomfort.

I suppose I imagined I would be an earth mother.  You know, Id be a natural who would love every moment of pregnancy.  Its come as a bit of a surprise to me.  I feel stupid.  It scares me that I feel like this.  Its like Ive got on a rollarcoster and there is no way off.  Not that I want to get off.  Im just scared. 

I cant wait for my baby to come but what if I find motherhood as hard as pregnancy.  Maybe Ill start blooming soon.

On a separate note I spoke to my doctor today about the offer of shared care that was made to me when I was referred to St Thomas'.  That would mean I could have midwife appointments at my doctors surgery.  My last midwife appointment was at 3pm.  I left at 2 to get there and because of the train connections, I got home at 5.30.  My doctors is 6 mins from school and 10 minutes from home!  Fingers crossed.

Symptoms = foul taste after eating, vomitting, nose bleed, trouble getting comfortable at night, headaches, lightheadiness

Tuesday 10 May 2011

17 weeks 3 days pregnant - level II scan gender

Well I went on Monday for a scan.  We tried to time it for 16 weeks but with all the bank holidays it wasnt possible.  DH met me and we went in together (last time I arrived early and was called early and he walked into the clinic as I walked out).  We were looking for any physical markers that might show that there is an issue with the baby as I do not want any invasive tests without something physical to indicate it is necessary (the negative nuchal test wasbased on the blood tests only and this can be affected by ivf). 

Anyway, the sonographer, who was lovely, couldnt see everything.  What she saw was normal - femur length, head and tummy measurements, bladder, etc.  She couldnt see the heart, kidneys, brain, etc. (sorry I dont have the paper with me).  So based on the scan we will wait to the 20 week scan. 

She did try and see the gender.  She wasnt sure (she said things could be hiding) but she thought it might be a girl.  Well I so want a heathly baby but after that I so want a healthy girl.  I persuaded dh to tell me a few days before what he prefered and he said 'I would love a daughter'.  How fantastic is that!  So it could be a little girl!  We will hopefully get it confirmed at the 20 week scan!

In the meantime she(?) has been kicking (she was very active on the scan) and I think I feel her everyday.  Just light movements but definately the baby.

Symptoms = tender nipples (especially in the shower), larger darker nipples, sense of nanusea and some sharp pains in tummy when getting up or moving suddenly

Thursday 5 May 2011

17 weeks pregnant - midwife appointment

Yesterday I had my first midwife appointment since the booking in appointment.  Not much happened.  We reviewed my blood tests - all clear (although I had to have another one as they neglected to test for something).  Took my blood pressure, tested my urine and listened to the heartbeat.  The midwife found the heartbeat quicker than I do at home but at least we were listening to the same thing. 

On Monday I have the extra scan that the neo-natal unit (I think) booked for me after the test results.  I have a friend on a forum who just got a 1:9 chance.  She is going to a specialist on Harley Street to get a second opinion.  I did consider doing this but because mine was mostly down to bloods I thought it would just be the calculation that changed.  Hers was down to the nuchal fold of the baby and the bloods.  Its hard but in one way its nice to have some company (although I wouldnt wish it on anyone).

All is well.  Im not at the blooming stage yet although my finger nails look fantastic.  Uncomfortable breast stuff.  Sharp pains and tender nipples.  The tiredness continues as does the sickness.  My tummy is growing but I dont think anyone has spotted at work.  Maybe after Monday I will feel more comfortable telling people.

Symptoms = tender nipples, sickness (reflux), bump